Being social is not easy.

You have to adjust yourself. You need to be able to maintain conformity towards the values that most people adhere to. Though some of these may have been already observed in your daily life, there are many others that you didn’t really understand very well at the beginning, but you chose to push yourself hard enough to coalesce your life with them. But those weren’t all. Being too obedient to every social value that you found in your society would mean that you completely have no security for being yourself. There comes the individual character. Your character determines whether you would be able to assimilate those values into your life without losing your true identity. At the end of the day, you should have known yourself well enough before you start to become member of the herd.

Sadly, these seemingly excruciating tasks were insufficient to ensure that you have good sleep at night. There is still the other part of the equation: people around you. It doesn’t matter how hard you try if at the end, they couldn’t see you as a person, or rather, a person who is part of them. There’s absolutely no need to feel terribly somber or melodramatic if after all things you’ve done, you found nothing in return. Heck, you should’ve known earlier that to patiently expect something is not your natural virtue. It should’ve been in your prior attention as well that being taken for granted was something that is very common everywhere, but unfortunately not the condition you are prepared to face.

There I am. At that exact position and that right moment. I figure that the idea of living solitary is the philosophy that best describes how I should walk the road. Going solo means that you have no one to blame for your failures. It means that you can’t never be terribly disappointed as you have no one to disappoint you, but yourself. Ultimately, it means that there is only one that has a full control over yourself: you.

How does that sound? Overly audacious perhaps, but strangely enough, it appeals to me. At least at the moment.

Well, visiting my old self wouldn’t be that fatal, right? After all, it is him who has succesfully brought me to what I am right now. It surely doesn’t hurt to dig something in your past to use it for the benefit of your current well-being.

And there the trip begins. Hopefully, it won’t end before it even commences. In case someone (who doubtfully ever exist) concerns that I may be lost, I just figure it might as well be the actual answer to everything that I have been searching for.

**fingers tightly crossed**