losing the way

Looking back to where I came from, I realized many things have changed. Surely they are. But how should I manage with these changes? Things where I used to think that they are the place to run and hide now feels like a giant iceberg, ready to crush me into pieces. Place where I used to feel like home is now some kind of strange corner with nothing familiar. People who I looked up to and gave me arms to hold on to are now becoming someone who I find it difficult to have something in common.

Disappointing and yet funny at the same time. I felt like I lost some part of myself, vanished into thin air. Then, I asked myself whether this is just a dream or not. If it is, I desperately want to wake up and smell the coffee. But if it isn’t, then maybe I should move on. It’s hard I know. I may get myself real hurt if I am not strong enough, but what choices do I have?

getting pissed off

I’m having a not-so-good mood today. Everything was just fine at the beginning (yesterday), but then few things came up and they certainly got on my nerves.

Why?

Well, start with some kind of ‘date’ I arranged. I asked people whether they want to go out with me or not. Some said yes, and some didn’t. But that’s okay. It’s fine. What letting me down is that there’s this who said yes but later told me that they cannot make it because of the time. I wonder whether they really knew the timing in the first place or not. Sigh… You know that you cannot return things you already bought, right? (in some cases, yes, but in my case, a big N and O). Luckily, I got other friend who’s willing to replace them.

expect the unexpected

Things have been changing so much lately. what do you expect then if there’s one thing that is certain in this world is CHANGE itself?

Other meaningful phrase I’ve learned to understand is (more or less): Men can only plan, it is God who decide. No matter how organized your plan is, how much time you take to keep things in schedule, at the end, you still leave everything to God, no matter what. That’s the point of being tawakkal. Do your best in whatever comes to you, then pray so that you’ll be given what’s best for you.

Apparently, after I spent two times of interview, one purple shirt, one expensive trousers (but it’s cool by the way, *giggles), and countless amount of energy to prepare for my attachment in IBN, things turn out so differently. First, knowing that IBN is located in Biopolis, one of the coolest lab station in the city, I expect they paid me with higher income. Then I was wrong. A little bit of disappointment over here, but I was thinking if I only care about the money, I’ll be going to places like Exxon or anywhere else.

here and there

it’s been waaay too long since the last time i wrote here. to make it up, let’s start with what’s been going on with myself

MYSELF

Exam is over

Apparently, I am not a last minute kinda guy. I used to think (well, I was wrong) I could catch up within few days or less, but now I knew I couldn’t. Keep crossing my fingers so that whatever come out, I’ll be able to take it no matter what they are. Well, one could wish all the best for himself, couldn’t he?