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this weekend, there’s something big coming to me. i just hope i didn’t mess things up, or make myself look terribly awful. i just wanna do the best i can, get over it, and finally move on with other things.
well, before that, this what i have been today: TOTALLY EXHAUSTED. i know, i shouldn’t mention here ’cause i know it certainly did not go well
but seriously, i totally lost all my energy. well, enough of me.
american idol
it’s now on Top 12. i am surely rooting for Mandisa vs Chris for the final. there we’ll have a gorgeous phenomenal diva as well as a down-to-earth rockstar. i don’t care who wins as long as it’s one of them.
sadly, ayla must go back and start her college (i think). she’s damn good. wish i could meet someone like her, but wait. what do i have to offer? in case you didn’t know. ayla is known for her achievement in basketball scholarship, daughter of US senator (i think so) and beautifully beautiful.
naah, here i am. daydreaming (or nightdreaming to be exact). oh well, that’s it. i’m leaving now
you have no idea how terribly amazing someone is. just when you thought it’s over, there are still those coming.
one who’s seeking for sympathy finally made others believe that she (he?) deserves it;
one who treat himself as tremendously noble that he would never join you even though it should be the other way. keep avoiding me to do it together as I am not good enough to join with him;
one who think he (she?) is funny, likeable and charming. suddenly come to me and say: YOU’RE WRONG. this is how it’s supposed to be. i’d say: MYOB!! how should I care? trying to involve with every conversation I made with my friends (my truly friends). trying to be Mr. I-Know-Everything-But-That-Doesn’t-Make-Me-Look-Like-A-Geek.
heh, funny isn’t it? you did nothing but being violated and next thing you know, these people coming to you, making you feel so much uncomfortable.
i guess this is a battle right? i mean i’ve seen this quite a lot in teen movies, but i never thought i’ll still be alive to see this happening to myself.
well, if that’s the case, i’m not gonna stay around. there’s more to do. and you know what?
BRING IT DOWN, y’all!!! What else do you have? Is that all?
~in the mood for battle~ \
MYOB: Mind Your Own Business
you know you are terribly mad, but just take it easy. let yourself relax, forget everything that makes you out of control.
it’s different thing in your day, and if you can deal with it, then you make it through to the next day. but, if you keep thinking about it, wasting your time, you couldn’t ever reach that time when you are greater than ever.
so, i guess it’s over now. you should prepare for other things, things that may require you to be much more exhausted, terrified or excited.
when you think of something, good or bad, right or wrong, think it twice, three times, four times and more. there must be different way of thinking of something.
because when you let that thought out of your mouth, everything can’t be restored. it’s been that way. no matter how hard you try to repair or to make it up, it’s all too late.
it’s not the matter of how you can forgive someone or how you felt sorry about something. i know human DO mistakes. but human has gift called brain too. it is something you should use before you take any action. you just can’t count on everyone to accept your apology or to say sorry to you. you have to count on yourself.
that makes good person and wise person different. good person knows that he/she should think before doing something. wise person knows that he/she should think MANY MORE times before finally doing it.
so, i guess it’s hard for you to be the later person. in fact, i don’t think i require you to be. so, here’s the deal. if you are just person number one for me, why should i be person number two for you? can’t i just be the same thing as you are? i mean can i just think ONCE before saying it here? or should i think it TWICE or MORE before blogging here?
well, it’s too late anyway. if you can read this, it means that i’m good person. i know i can just easily go back and edit what i say here. but, is that necessary? will that be 0-1 for me?
you know, i’m not that kinda person who can easily admit to lose. it’s been myself for almost 20 years and i’m not gonna change that because of some small things happened today. and i think you didn’t know that since for God’s sake, we’ve only known each other for couple of months.
guess what? it’s too late also. i should’ve been in my bed right now. i still got brighter tomorrow where i can be a wise person to everyone.
leaving you at this moment
there are those who keep you down no matter how tough you’ve been through. and as if it’s not enough, here’s coming the people who drive you totally mad …
i wonder how to keep your head straight at this moment, to keep you strong and tough no matter how fragile you are, and to rise yourself higher and higher leaving these people behind.
still wondering why should i care with their words. does it really matter? i mean after all, you can’t be so sensitive, acknowledging every thing you hear
i wish i could make things easier but still it’s not easy for me. perhaps i need someone’s help.
someone to make me so special, so unique, so different.
but until that time comes, you just have to fight by yourself.
and that’s it …
so, the Oscar went almost predictable as I think, but i still can’t accept the fact that it is Reese who took the statue instead of Felicity.
though i haven’t watched both movie (Walk the Line and Transamerica), but still I think Lynette deserves it. Who else in the world that is rocking TV and cinema at the same time? Who else in the world that have won million of awards for TV acting and cinema at the same time?
I still can’t believe it. It should’ve been Felicity there, I wanna see her speech. I wanna see how she thanked to everyone.
boo….
disappointed
whatever you do, you are still a human. and human has limitation. you can’t afford to do all your tasks and jobs within short time without taking some rest.
now, here i am. fighting with myself, fighting with my flu.
it shouldn’t be this way. i should know better
can i have my mum and dad now? i need them to comfort me, to give me everything i need, to take care of me. wish i were at home
sneezing,
tegar
have you ever been so addicted to something that you almost spent MOST of your time doing that?
it’s so difficult to let yourself free after you’ve been doing such a thing for long time. you know it’s bad, certainly is, but you can’t help it.
oh God, please help me. i try everything but why i’m still doing it. you know you need someone’s help, but in order to get such help, you need to explain everything which i think it’s not an option.
it requires very tremendous braveness to do that. i don’t want everybody know i’m doing it. but still, i need some help.
ah, if only i have someone who i can truly trust, without having to judge me. if only i have someone to talk to, don’t care how big my problem is. if only i have someone to share, to understand me, ….
if only …
one thing I learn during my almost-two-years time here: think first before you say anything. COMPLETELY anything, be it nice or not.
it seems that not everyone is pleased with what you say. perhaps, you didn’t mean anything bad in your words, but you should put yourself in others’ shoes. do you think they will take it the same way you expect them to?
but then, i’m also amazed on how people could be so immature that they don’t even regret what they’ve said. i think they completely know what they are saying, how bad it could hurt others’ feeling, but still they say it.
and the worst is coming. there are those who make it so COMMON, that they don’t even know it’s not good to say that. only God knows if they really don’t know or just pretend not to.
pffuiih, this makes me a little bit relieved. so much things going on in my head, and i hope i will not find other things which will just give me more headache
see then
woaa… just found out this new kinda blog from my friend. love the appearance, especially the way it shows how simple, elegant and yet fascinating it is. compared to other blog, which is quite good, but i don’t think at this moment i feel satisfied on the template choices.
so then,
right now, i’m on the most exciting week ever. how come? well, start with three consecutive quizzes which require tremendous amount of wake-up hour. then, two projects coming their way.
but then, i think again. why do i have to write these stuffs? everyone is no less busy than i am. in fact, sometimes i didn’t like to see those msn nicknames, friendsters shoutouts, or anything else saying that: my God, i’m very busy; too much for me to handle; 3 projects to go, 4 quizzes, 5 bla-blas..
i’d say, if you think you are incapable of doing such things, why do you take them in the first place? i mean, you’re surely completely responsible of what you’ve done. if sometimes you feel exhausted, it’s okay. it’s totally understandable. but if you keep complaining, then you might want to change your way. perhaps, you took wrong decisions.
well, maybe it’s a bit too harsh. i’m sorry but it’s just i’m kinda person who likes to ‘explode’, expressing what i have in mind, though sometimes i just couldn’t afford to talk it in front of people – that’s why i choose to blog - but still, i need to let go what’s in my head.
i should go right now. i’m still in the mood of this exciting week, and sure i don’t want to miss a thing.
leaving you at this moment,
tegar
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